"Our Story"

she will not open
I knew that
waiting at her gate
it was not my time
but wanton desire beckoned
almost roared
so I let myself be blinded
even though the snow was melting
It wasn't that at all
even though the circle was imperfect
but it wasn't that
even though I'd heard no call
I blindly trusted it

when I communed with her
in that refuge from the snow
darkness descended before I knew it
walls folded impossibly outwardly in
escaping voices twisted away
I laid alone in the desecrated temple
It's heaving walls and unfunhouse ride
she would not open

I reached up to broken shards
then down to a vagrant pillow
broken slants of light
more distant muffled sighs
we allowed our rivers flow
perhaps never whole
I knew not how I'd come
to this crazy house
I must go out
if there were a way out

rolling over i found some signs
then the broken sharp things again
then - somehow not surprisingly -
a berber carpet under me
I rolled some more
hands fumbled on an edge
reached down
a stair...
another...

I dragged my body on my knees
came almost head over heals
(head over heals?)
boarding down the stairs
arms and legs my wheels
but she stopped me -
no, not SHE, but just she -
and asked me where i was going

'oh, someone's here!'
yes
'come back'
I crawled back in the dark
back into the broken temple
less broken now
but no less desacralized
'ouch! you're stepping on me!'
the stepping stopped
'sorry!' came a distant sigh

as light and sanity blinked on
I held my breath for both
I glimpsed the menacing shards
merely seashells along the wall
we gradually told our stories -
for those with two ears
and presented all the proof
blue eyed goddess posing
suddenly just disappeared
while others silently grinning
their hands over their mouths
they laughed, they humans

but I was never right
foolish deed of mine
so it was done
(is it really done?)
and all that it is left
this wonton desire
and it quickly killed me. 

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